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RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

ejsmom — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:28:24 GMT

our little girl has started waking up at 3 or 4 am every night and we have to bring her downstairs to hang out for a while. also, she doesn't want to go to sleep at bedtime or naps any more. she used to be a perfect sleeper but seems to be going thru separation anxiety now. did your two-year-olds do the same thing?

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

bsmom — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:24:54 GMT

My son is 28 months and he's just starting to sleep through the night once in a while. I tried everything... My son has asthma so CIO was not an option. On top of that I didn't understand making your child cry. When my son cried at bed time all he ever wanted was me to hug him. I eventually started just laying with him and singing until he fell asleep. It takes 1/2 hour to an hour but now he goes to bed without crying which stresses me out much less.Even now he can't fall asleep unless he can "twirl Mommy's hair" so I let him...no harm. He falls asleep in under an hour and that's our time together. Instead of doing an every night all evening routine we have our hour in bed talking and singing routine.

I figure he won't go to college sleeping in my bed so I'm going to stop worrying about it. He also spent alot of nights in my bed. I'm a single Mom and I work so I have to get my sleep...and if that means having him in my bed it's what I have to do. Sometimes kids are just not good sleepers and you have to grin and bear it for a few years until it's out of their system.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

nat — Thu, 22 May 2008 07:44:53 GMT

My daughter started sleeping through the night at about 3 months, then suddennly stopped at about 6month- talk about torture. Every one has tonnes of advice on sleeping and there are so many books ( i went to the library and borrowed a bunch). i skimmed through many and tried different techniques that seemed to make sense to me. the biggest lesson i learned was about setting up a routine- babies love routines. It meant that my schedule was no longer mine, couldn't go out during the day whenever i wanted to, as we had to be home at specific times to make sure my daughter had her nap in her own bed, i was very regimented. but it worked. now my daughter sleeps from 6:30pm -7am, still naps twice a day and never complains when i put her to bed awake. the key for us was routine, stick to it and you have to get your baby to bed before they show signs of being tired. the best book i found was secrets of baby whisperer.

now i just hope our next baby, coming in july loves sleep as much as his/her sister.

good luck!

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

online-editor — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:37:51 GMT

Hi there.

I know this is a really tough topic that almost everyone faces at one time or another and I feel like I've already commented on this so, if I have, please excuse me.

My suggestion is to get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. No, I'm not affiated with the book or the publisher - just a big fan as I used his techniques for both of my kids.

Basically, he suggests (through research and experience) that infants should not be awake for more than 2 hours at a time. When I first read that and experienced it with my son, I thought that seemed crazy. But, you know what? It works and it's the best thing for both mother and child.

By the time your baby is older (I think 3 or 4 months) he/she should be having three naps a day in a very specific order. By the time he is 8 or 9 months, your baby should be having two scheduled naps per day and by the time he is about 13 months, he'll be down to one afternoon nap per day.

Babies need their daytime and nighttime sleep in order to be healthy and it makes their mom and dad a whole lot happier, too. My kids rarely cry or fuss before they go to sleep although I have to say it did take some weeks for both of them to get into the routine as infants.

Let us know how you do! Here's the link for the book, BTW: http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

challon — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:12:20 GMT

My little girl is 10 weeks old and she has a really hard time going down for a nap during the day. It's hell. I've just got her down now using the tv in the room as white noise, and it seems to be working. She's breastfed and she still wakes up lots at night to feed, at first she sleeps about 3 hours, then wakes up, feeds, then goes back to sleep for 2 hour stretches after that. is that normal?

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

weeza — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 14:09:37 GMT

Hi! My daughter is 6 weeks old and not sleeping. Day or night. She'll sleep in my arms, or in anyone's arms, but as soon as we put her in her crib, she'll wake up, start stretching, and eventually start screaming. The weird thing is that she doesn't seem to hate her crib: if I put her in there while she's wide awake and in a good mood, I can leave the room and she'll be just happy to relax in there and stare at her mobile for 15 minutes (after which she seems to get bored and wants to be picked up).

I really want her to learn to sleep in her crib... so I spend hours everyday trying to get her to sleep in there: I rock her until she's drowsy or sleeping, and then I put her in her crib. Then when she wakes up, I wait for her to start fussing and I'll go in to reassure her. I only pick her up if she's screaming. After an hour or two of this, she'll eventually fall asleep, but only to wake up 20-30 minutes later.

My question is: is it to early to do anything about it? At what time can I expect her to get on some kind of routine? I am not hoping she'll sleep 8 hours in a row, but it would be nice if she could at least consistently sleep 3-4 hours stretch... even if it is only during the day. She's breastfed and some people have told me that maybe the reason she doesn't sleep is that she is not eating enough. Could that be true? I am loosing my mind here...

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

jedimom — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 17:18:42 GMT

i can't believe how quick everyone is to let them "CIO". i have two children(4 1/2yr and 3months) both started sleeping thru the night at 8-9weeks. they relapsed a few times and were up for a feed around midnight or so but mostly slept from about 11pm to 5-6am.they have never been on any specific "schedule" both breast fed on demand. babies need cuddles and hugs and need to be held often.just because they don't sleep on YOUR schedule does not mean that you have to force it on them. make a routine for bedtime. we have bath(tubby time) snack, cuddles and a story then off to bed we go. if you make it a routine thye tend to get the hang of it quicker. plus it helps them to unwind and relax. i've never let my children CIO and never will. but if it works for you great, i just don't see the point in making them suffer. bed times take time and repeating the same routine over again until they catch on. some swear by warm milk, others a story. maybe a little heating pad buddy( they have em at walmart) my sisters kids have a blankie and a luvie (stuffed toy) they just need reasurance that when they close their eyes you won't disapeer forever. remember, as their mommy, you are their world.

i found that if my daughter didn't nap during the day, bedtime was a battle. but if she had a good sleep bedtime came easy. maybe try that. or when i moved her bedtime up to 7pm in stead of 8 she went down even easier. try rearanging the time. just be consistant. it may take up to a month for them to catch on

good luck

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

renee_dick — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:30:46 GMT

I actually have one question for you, after posting my (hopefully helpful) advice, my son woke from his nap, and it made me wonder about how your baby naps... my son used to have 3 half-hour naps a day, which drove me bonkers, I then darkened his room a bit, and he has now has 2 hour and a half to two hour naps a day, and has started sleeping better at night too. If your baby isn't getting good sleep during the day, may not get good sleep at night, and the fight for bedtime may be a result..... just a thought.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

renee_dick — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:20:40 GMT

I hope that my experiences can help! My husband and I found that, for us, it was best to start a bedtime routine early on. When my son was about 10 weeks old we started the routine of bottle, bath, relax and snuggle with mom and dad, then lullaby or book, and rocking in his dimly lit room until he was drowsy and almost asleep, then he was put to bed and we would make "shhhh" sounds to him softly for a couple of minutes until he nodded off. Now he doesn't need all of the routine stuff, as soon as he's had his bath he knows it's time to relax, now he's almost 7 months old, and goes to bed like a dream most of the time, though not always. Now we give him dinner (usually veggies and 7 oz of formula), then his bath, and a snuggle. Sometimes we'll read to him, but usually just a lullaby. Then when I put him in his crib, I say to him "sweet dreams munchkin, I love you and will see you in the morning". We did have a nightlight in his room until recently, but found his room too bright, now it's in the hall so he isn't in total darkness, and sleeps well enough. I hope this information helps you in your quest!

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

BabyLola — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 20:18:20 GMT

Hi. I'm a new member and well I had no place to go. Reading all the posts has helped me a bit just knowing that there are people out there going through the same thing. I have an 8 month old baby girl who will not sleep through the night and let me tell you, it is killing me. I am a person who needs her sleep. I wish I could say I can go 5-6 hours of sleep but that is not the case. I need my full 8 hours or more. Sad I know. THis is my first child and I knew what was expected, but I didn't think it would be this bad. I thought my body would eventually adjust. And to be honest it doesn't even really seem THAT bad but to me, well like I said, its killing me. My baby has never been a good sleeper. But sometimes, she'll go a week or two sleeping through the night, and then right when we're used to it, bang, she hits us with a whole month of waking up in the night. usually she'll only get up the once, but last night she was up twice and I completely fell apart. I've tried the CIO and its worked maybe a couple times, so I don't get it when people say usually by the third day its worked because ya its worked but then next week it happens all over again. I have her on routine and no! it doesn't matter. I don't know what to do. I love her to death and I pray every night that my body will change and I"ll get used to this. It has really taken a toll on me. I am a monster when I don't get enough sleep. I think its hurting my relationship with my husband just because I'm so cranky and angry towards him. When she gets up in the night I'm so angry then I take her out and feed her and rock her and just cry because I feel so bad for taking it out on my husband and cry out of frustration because God I love my beautiful angel so much and why doesn't she want to sleep. WHY? I am also trying to wean her off breastfeeding and when she wakes up in the middle of the night, I don't know what to do. should I feed her?? I've been told to try anything but, but I can't. it seems as if its all she wants. She's now only breastfeeding when its time for naps and bed. so I'm just..... I'm so lost. Everyones advise has been to do what you feel is best, and well I just don't know what that is anymore. I'm seriously so lost. I so confused about the weaning being part of the sleeping. I don't know. I'm tired of being tired....

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

sierrataylor — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 22:12:43 GMT

OK. I am at my wits end. Aaron just wants to bite everything and everyone so I know it is his teeth but I nurse still and he will not go on at night to sleep like during the day and he hates the crib now that he is more mobile and well soother he tosses. i am out of answers.

losing the battle real quick

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

steph26 — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:33:13 GMT

I have found that having a very calm evening does the trick....I know this sounds easier said than done so let me explain.
Every night about 7pm we get our little one ready for a bath. He plays in the bath for awhile (use bedtime bath bubbles they really do work) and then we play on our bed for a bit and read a story. By the time this is all said and done it is about 8pm. I then get in the same comfy rocking chair we use every night with a warm bottle and we rock and have a feed. He is out in no time.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

sierrataylor — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 12:30:15 GMT

First off hi, I am new to this. I am so grateful for all the information on this that it stopped me from ripping my hair out last night at one in the morning. My little guy is 8 months old and has never been a good sleeper. He threw away his own soother two months ago and now is teething and I would love it back just to get some sleep and mostly to get him to sleep without a fight. He had teethed many months ago but now it is really bothering him senseless and wants to chew on me to fall asleep which is fine because it lasts only a minute until he is out but then if I move or breathe wrong he is awake to continue howling. I mean howling because it is not just a cry anymore but a throaty howl which makes him choke and spatter and sometimes throw up. That is only after the five minutes I am supposed to wait until I go back in to reassure him I am still here. The thing is the night sleep. Naps are ok. My problem is that I am staying with a friend and Aaron is sleeping in my room (the living room) and sees me there and or hears me around and still continues to scream even though he knows I didn't go anywhere. He just wants me and it is driving me crazy because then I will take him to rock him and he backs away and screams some more. HELP!

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

Nicoly — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 19:11:06 GMT

The lull-a-baby sleep plan by Catherine Tobin worked for us. We went from 10 wakings to 1 each night. He also now sleeps in his crib and best of all for me it was quick and with very little crying. Good luck!

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

rfrn — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 15:50:06 GMT

My son (now 17 months) has never been a great sleeper, but we too have used the CIO method for the different phases he has gone through and it has worked realy well. The first 2 nights are the worst - they seem to cry forever!!! By the 3rd night, he would only cry 3-4 minutes. After that - he would be fine!! I recommend this to anyone who has a poor-sleeping baby.

But its not for everyone

the baby whisperer method says to let them cry a bit - go in and pick up the baby until they are just soothed and stop crying, then lay them down again. And to keep doing this and eventually they will not cry and youdont have to go in.

We tried this, but it didnt work with our son. I felt bad lettin ghim cry, but he needed to learn how important it was to sleep at bedtime, and now hes a great sleeper!!

Good luck!

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

wannababy — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 00:15:07 GMT

My DS does this to me sometimes at night, I just put him in the crib and he'll cry for a bit and then he'll just lay there and fall asleep on his own, tonight it took him an hour to fall asleep.. sometimes I think he's more comfortable in the crib rather than in my arms.

Good luck

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

jmorosin — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 09:07:07 GMT

Hello everyone - just wanted to share an idea. I fully agree with the "CIO" method however you may also need to establish a routine with baby.

I am a first time mom - my baby boy is about to turn 6 months and he has been sleeping thru the night since he was 3 months. I read that most babies LOVE routine and in my case it was true. Here is what we do EVERY NIGHT before bedtime........

-have a shampooee (bath)
-offer a bottle or breastfeed
-put baby to bed and say goodnight (I say his prayers to him)
-make sure you smile when you put him to bed (make him think bed time is a wonderful thing)

My baby is so tuned into his routine that he starts rubbing his eyes during his bath - He knows it is time to go to bed.

You don't have to follow this particular bed time routine - instead you might want to read him/her the same story every night before bed or take him/her for a walk every night before bed.......

Good Luck!

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

kimc — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 23:16:54 GMT

Our little boy was sleeping through the night at 3 months and stopped. We were stumped, then the daycare asked if they could put him on a nap schedule (we agreed). We started putting him down (with crying) at 9 am and 1 pm then to bed at 7:30 (we only let him cry for approx 3 minutes and we would go in, pick him up, lay him down, sing, rub back, whatever it took and gradually started backing away). He is now napping twice a day and going to bed and sleeping through the night! The bottom line - he was overtired although he showed no signs of it. My advice, pick a schedule and put your daughter on it. If she cries wait 1-2 minutes before going to her; but keep to the schedule. Also, if she pulls on her ears at all, see a doctor - if teething she could have no signs but have an ear infection.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

mapsgirl — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 08:29:16 GMT

I read a book with similar advice to "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child", it's call "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer". It gives you a routine to follow and advice on feeding and playtimes.

It really worked for us.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

katesmom — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 20:19:50 GMT

There are some really great books to help your child sleep better. I liked, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". The author believes in "cry it out", but he has a whole bunch of other things that you need to do first - regular routines, understanding your child's sleep signals, and putting the baby to bed very early - around 6-7 p.m. He says that a lot of babies have trouble sleeping because they are overtired and that causes biochemical changes to the brain that make it more difficult for a child to sleep. This method worked great for Kate, and we never had to use CIO. She kept waking up 2-3 times per nght until 10 months, but I never worried much about it, because I figured that she would sleep through the night when she was ready - and she did.

Another book frequently recommended on these boards in the past is "Good Night, Sleep Tight". It is a gentler method of teaching your child to go to sleep.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

tburge69 — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 20:18:13 GMT

Thanks Msoti...I thought that's what it might have meant but then thought there's no way it would be something that simple...*lack of sleep* But thanks for the explanation.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

Msoti — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 09:17:45 GMT

Hi, CIO is cry it out. =)

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

tburge69 — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 22:33:22 GMT

Well first off, welcome. I also asked that question because my little man who's now 5 months old is the same way and its even much more harder now because he's teething so I know exactly where u'r coming from...I'm ready to pull my hair out. I do have one question and I hope no one thinks I'm stupid but what does 'CIO' mean...I've never heard that before. But I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you find something that will work cause I've tried everything as well.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

GhadaT — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 15:08:19 GMT

SO I'm not the only mom who suffer from bed time. my 4and 1/2 months baby doesn't sleep before 11pm. I tried everything to let him go before that, make his last nap at 4:00pm, worm bath, breastfeeding, CIO, put him to sleep beside me! nothing works. and he wakes up at night many times although he used to go to bed at 9pm and take along sleep for about 6 hours, but not anymore. I have nothing to do just cope with that

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

dairywife22 — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 21:16:05 GMT

I am in totally the same boat as you. I am a single mom of a 13 month old who has never slept through the night and is also not much of a napper. I have tried CIO as well but he can also cry forever. I average tops 4-5 hrs sleep a night. I can hardly function during the day. My ds on the other hand seems to function fine on very little sleep. Which I could help you but I seem to get the same advice from others as you have gotten here.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

Msoti — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:53:17 GMT

I've been pretty lucky, my little one has always been a good sleeper...like her mom! Although, she does have her nights and I agree, it's hard to let them CIO but it will get better and I suggest the same thing...CIO. Mine did have colic which was NOT fun so my mom (who was a neo-natal nurse) told me to let her CIO and when it's hard on the head, go outside...it worked and gave me new strength to carry on!! =)

I always give her a nice warm bubble bath and a bottle of warm milk, put her in bed with her blanket and bedtime bunny and it usually works (when she's fussy).

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

Katarinasmom — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 14:54:39 GMT

Thanks...nothing seems to be working...??? I'm getting really frustrated. All my friends' babies have been sleeping through the night early! I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've tried letting her cry it out, but she screams and screams and screams!!! (She's even gotten herself so upset that she's thrown up!)

I don't know what to do...I'm almost in tears here. The last week seems to be getting worse and worse.

She's a dream baby in every other way...she's wonderful! But it's the sleeping that's killing me and "CIO" is NOT working for her or for me.

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

PiscesMom — Sat, 10 Jun 2006 23:43:40 GMT

My daughter is almost 8 months old. Bedtimes used to be easy, but in the past month or so they got much tougher!

We cut out her late afternoon nap, so she doesn't sleep past 3:30-4:00 p.m. We keep her busy and as active as possible after that. If she gets hungry, we give her a quick feed, just enough to take the edge off. Then we put her to bed around 6:30 and she sleeps for about 8-9 hours, wakes up around 3:00 for a quick feed, and then goes back to sleep until about 6:30.

Maybe re-examine her naps?

RE: Advice on bedtime please!!!

newyearsevebride — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 13:26:21 GMT

The only advice I can give is to let her CIO. I know it is tough but it will work. My oldest slept through the night by himself at 4 months. My second was 5 1/2 months and not sleeping through as well as using a soother. We let him him CIO and within 4 nights he was sootherless and sleeping through the night (we did 2 days w/o soother in the day but given at night, then went cold turkey on the soother).

Tips on CIO:

Don't do it when the kid is sick or teething

If you must go in (for you heart breaking) wait at least 5 minutes. When you do go in don't speak and be as brief as possible.

Myself, I only ever go in if one of my kids is screaming. basic crying, grunting, whining doesn't warrant me going in.

Advice on bedtime please!!!

Katarinasmom — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 01:24:24 GMT

Hello.

I'm new here and I'm just writing because my little Katarina is almost 10 months old and still hasn't slept through the night. She also fights us before bed (as in will cry and cry and cry until we give up). This happens every night and it's beginning to get more and more frustrating.

Also, since day one, she has not yet slept through the night and now she's teething and her schedule is all over the place!

I really need some help....anyone? Please????