ParentTalk Forums / ParentTalk / Everything But The Kitchen Sink!

Single Moms

sapphiretehninja — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:39:00 GMT

Hi Everyone,

My name is Sapphire, and I'm 24 years old. I'm the proud mother of a 9 and a half old boy, Gabriel. I am however, a single mom.

My boyfriend and I broke up back in April. Our relationship wasn't going anywhere. We were always butting heads at everything, and it seemed like I was the only one doing anything to try to make things work with us. He has a drinking addiction, has no money management skills, and didn't made me feel appreciated. I was the only one taking care of our baby, 98% of the time. After attempting couple therapy/counseling, and him not showing up 4 out of 6 times; and after making my needs clear, and him not making any positive changes, I had to let him go.

It was very difficult to make that decision. I loved him, despite all the chaos and the issues. But I was really depressed that he just couldn't be responsible and loving like a boyfriend and father should be. I didn't want my son growing up around two parents who are always fighting, and crying. I also realized that, if I was going to be depressed because I was so unhappy with my relationship, that it could have a negative impact on my son's well being. So, with Gabriel's best intentions in mind and at heart, I told his father to leave. It was the hardest decision of my life, but I know in my heart, that I did the right choice.

Since the breakup, it has been a huge adjustment. I feeling a lot of mixed feelings about him. I missed him; then I hated him. I still felt something for him; I wished he could just disappear. I cried a lot. I was scared because I realized I was in this alone. Luckily, my family and friends have been of great support through everything, and helped me get myself on my feet. I moved to a new apartment, started to spend more time with them, and even made new friends with children.

As for Gabriel's father, he wants to be part of his life and still loves him. I'm having conflicted feelings about him. I can see that he cares for his son, but it only surfaced after the breakup. He spends good time with him on his visits, and plays with him and everything; but then I wonder what would he do with him if I wasn't around. I'm scared about the negative influence he could have on our son, with his drinking problem, and with his excessive swearing. I know that it's important for any child to have a father figure in his life. But if I don't approve of him, how can I decide what's right for him? He has rights and feelings too, and that's where I feel helpless.

I am seeing a psychologist who is helping with finding what's best for my son's interests. He's doing a great job so far. We discussed getting visitations on a legal schedule, and child support set by court. I'm seeing a lawyer to set up the court schedule in the near future. It's stressful, but at the same time, I feel like I'm moving on and doing the right thing.

So now, I have to focus on getting my college education done, and getting a good job to be able to provide for my son and I. Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to pull through, but inside I have faith. There are millions of single moms out there who are successful and who are doing just fine. I'm just scared that it'll be super hard. I love my baby, and I want to spend as much time as I can with him.

I was hoping to hear from other moms who are in my shoes. I'd like to know how you made it on your own, any advice or encouragements you might have for me.

Thanks!

Love,

Sapphire

seperated and pregnant

precious — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:00:11 GMT

My husband and i seperated in may (4months ago) I started seeing a new guy and enden up pregnant with a third child. My EX told me if i was to ever form any kind of relationship with my new man that he would never speek to me again. I know I shouldnt be worried but I am I am not sure how to tell him that I moved on or that iim pregnant. And to top it all of my new man doesnt want a baby. I am so scared and confused. I really need help if theres anyone out there please respond.

Making a family budget

Jodi77 — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:10:16 GMT

I need to organize my finances and make a workable budget to take care of my family, especially at this critical time trying to live off Mat Leave money, and have no idea where to start and how to make a practical one that covers all the bases, including savings! I'm not very good at this money stuff. Does anyone know a website, person or organization that could help?

Moms with Kids for focus Groups

leeannj — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:52:07 GMT

Looking for Moms with kids of all ages for focus groups in Toronto and the GTA on the subway line.

2 Hours, great compensation. All Fortune 500 Companies.

Please send contact info to leeann.jensen@sympatico.ca

Thanks for your interest!!

Saving Money!!

melanie30 — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:36:54 GMT

I'm ALWAYS on the hunt for deals, bargains, sales....anything to save on the mountain of expenses (that are, of course, worth every penny for my little guy! )

Anyone else pick up on the giveaway Sears did over the weekend? They were just handing out cards for $10, $20 or $200! I went to get one and ended up getting one of the $200 cards so I immediately went to the kids section and stocked up!

They told me they'll be doing it again soon so I'm keeping my eyes on the Sears Canada website for updates. Cant beat free!

I'm in Toronto. If anyone knows of good places I can go to that'll have something for a 3yo post up the info!

Interview with Babes & Tots mom entrepreneur

online-editor — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:21:26 GMT

http://blog.parentscanada.com/my_weblog/2008/08/babes-tots.html

Check out the Q&A and the upcoming shows in Ontario.

New Babies & New Baby Contests - blog post

online-editor — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:12:37 GMT

http://blog.parentscanada.com/my_weblog/2008/08/new-babies-new.html

Check 'er out!

Civic Holiday Plans

online-editor — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:03:08 GMT

What are you doing for the long weekend? Anything exciting?

We'll be off to Ottawa for part of the time; looking forward to a change of pace. You?

Sharing rooms?

curiouserandcuriouser — Thu, 15 May 2008 09:26:48 GMT

Hey there! My boyfriend and I recently moved in to a 2 bedroom apartment. I have my 3 year old son full time and he is currently going through a custody battle over his 6 year old daughter, after which he hopes to have her every other week.

So my question is, can my 3 year old son and his 6 year old daughter share a bedroom? My son goes to bed around 8pm and his daughter will be going to bed around 9. Moving is not an option, so I was just wondering if anyone knows the age limit that children of the opposite sex can share rooms?

Late talker

fifi2 — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 14:54:34 GMT

Wondering if Moms of toddlers could please put my mind at ease... I've got a 23-month old who doesn't really talk yet. Is this a sign of a bigger challenge? I'm not really too concerned since my brother was a late bloomer too - but some people have commented.

Any suggestions?

Terrific Tuesday ~ Getting to Know You Q&A

online-editor — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 08:34:41 GMT

Here's a fun idea for weekly questions where we can use some creativity and get to know one another better. It will be harder for me cuz I'm not anonymous here but I'll answer as honestly as possible!

1. How many siblings do you have? Would you ideally like to have more or less?

2. What's your all-time favourite girl's and boy's name?

3. What's your favourite city in Canada?

4. If you could go on any holiday for any length of time, where would it be? Would you bring your kids?

5. Are you afraid of dogs?

Universal Child Care Benefits - payments resume!

online-editor — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:35:21 GMT

http://blog.parentscanada.com/my_weblog/2008/07/universal-child.html

Universal Child Care Plan Benefits - payments resume!

Interview with Sheri Allain

online-editor — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:50:49 GMT

http://blog.parentscanada.com/my_weblog/2008/07/interview-with.html

Interview with new mom, mompreneur and Mini Books creator, Sheri Allain.

Not sure if I am or not...

BobbiJo — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:28:38 GMT

Hi, at this moment, I am not sure if I am pregnant with #2 or not. We have a gorgeous 3 year old daughter. I am not on the pill and we don't use anything for protection other than (not to be too candid) the withdrawal method. I've told hubby that it can still happen (I'd like it to be!) Reason I am unsure is that my period is always bang on 24 - 27 days; this time, 24 days, it seemed that it was here but I only bled very, very little (not enough to fill a tampon over two days) and that's it. That has never happened to me before; I've always had a period that lasts three to five days. I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced a weird period or anything like that, who always has a normal period. I'm hoping that I am but here I go again - getting nervous to buy a test cause if I'm not, I'll be heartbroken and if I am, well, overjoyed! It just doesn't feel like I am. The symptoms I had with #1 were fatigue, soreness; I'm also wondering if all pregnancies would be the same. Any advice is appreciated!

Pushy grandparents

fifi2 — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 14:48:49 GMT

My Mom is a very keen grandparent but I often find that I can't get her to get the hint that we need time to ourselves as a new little family. She's made comments about our newborn being "her baby too." It's kinda making me crazy but I don't want to hurt her feelings. Any advice on how to draw some boundaries - nicely?

Thanks!

Baby Sign Language - New Blog post

online-editor — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:40:36 GMT

Check 'er out at blog.parentscanada.com

Mompreneurs - first in series up on blog!

online-editor — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 09:51:13 GMT

Wanna know more about mompreneurs or mizzards? Check out today's blog post. Thanks to those of you who have written to me wanting to be featured in our blog. I will continue to follow up!

It's 2 am: Do you know where your brain is? - new blog post

online-editor — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:15:19 GMT

It was a tough night last night. Can you relate? Check out the blog and post your comments.

Thank you cards

jeepgirl2005 — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:35:27 GMT

I need some advice on how to write a thank you card to people that - one did not buy me stuff off my register (why did I bother even taking the time to do one when no one is going to buy anything off it) as well as bought me clothes that my baby will NEVER wear because they are too small already or they are not the right season. I got about 5 sundresses for 6 - 9 months - my baby will be that size in November - December....

What do you say to them...thank you for the great outfit, I can't wait to put it on her??? I really wish people would have just given me a card because they have all wasted their money. Don't get me wrong I am gratefuly for the gesture but I have about 15 outfits she will never wear.

At a loss for what to say and frustrated......please help!!

Moving forum topics around

online-editor — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:07:31 GMT

Hi all.

Due to feedback and personal preference, I'm moving some of the topics around and changing a few of the titles.

In this kitchen sink topic, I'm going to start posting "getting to know you" threads every week so we can answer interesting questions and get to know each other a bit better. I'll try and post the first Qs today.

Let me know if you have thoughts about the topic titles, position, threads you'd like to see here, etc.

Thanks!

What did you do for Victoria Day?

online-editor — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:41:17 GMT

Right now there are extremely loud fireworks going off in our neighbourhood and our kids are sleeping. My husband took our older child out last night and they lit some fireworks in the school field. It was so cold and windy that I didn't feel right dragging the toddler out late so she and I stayed home.

Hopefully next year the whole family will be able to appreciate the fireworks together (or there's always Canada Day, too).

What did you do?

Chrisco Hampers - know anything about it?

cherylmomof2 — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 14:00:06 GMT

I'm just wondering if any of you ladies have any experiences with Chrisco Hampers.

http://www.chriscohampers.ca/shop/home.aspx

Apparently if you become a seller you make 10% commission on every order, including any of your own orders.

I like the idea of it and the hampers are brand name, yummy products that we use every day.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

PREGNANCY PICTURES

purelife — Sun, 11 May 2008 16:20:28 GMT

please submit any pregnancy or belly pictures

All About You...kind of a survey thing.

cherylmomof2 — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 10:51:43 GMT

Name:

Age:

Location:

Rent or Own:

What do you drive:

Fav. movie:

Fav. actor & actress:

Last movie seen in theatre:

Fav. musical group or singer:

Fav. colour:

Fav. food:

Fav. restaurant:

Pepsi or Coke:

Diamonds or Pearls:

Healthy or Wealthy:

Fav. scent:

If you could meet one person living or dead who:

What would you tell him or her:

Where do you want to travel to:

Do you watch hockey:

Who do you cheer for:

K....if you want to add questions go for it!

Maternity Leave Increased?

Msoti — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 13:16:45 GMT

Hi! My cousin was telling my mom the other day that effective January 2007, maternity leave is increasing to 18 months? Has anyone heard this? I would love it if she's right! If you've heard anything can you please let me know? Thanks! =)

Dropping in to say hello!

susanps managing editor — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:26:26 GMT

Hello everyone,

I wanted to come by to say hello, and let you know that if you have any questions or topics you'd like us to cover, we'd love to hear from you.

I'm going to post to specific threads looking for help with some of our upcoming stories.

At this moment I'm interested in speaking to parents who have had to deal with, or are currently dealing with, a colicky, crying baby.

I'm also hoping to speak to you and get your opinions about many other topics. We're going to feature some of your voices in upcoming issues, particularly on our Vent page. I'll pm you if I'd like to use your post, of course. We won't publish without your knowing about it. Then the rest of the readers of our ParentsCanada community can hear what you think!

I look forward to getting to know all of you. We've got some exciting issues in store for you in '08!

Susan

stress

faith04 — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 20:12:09 GMT

Hi, my name is Elizabeth and this is my first child. I am due in 4 to 5 weeks. me and my boyfriend have been living together for almost three years now and we end up fighting alot. I alway end up crying or felling depressed. Most of the time we get so mad at each other that we end up yelling for long peiodes of time. I was wondering that if stress levels are high throw out your hole pregnacy if this could do anything to harm your unborn child or if it matters when it comes to the health of the baby.

Ultrasound

da1 — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 18:22:15 GMT

I had an ultrasound last week. i am 14 weeks now. The doctore told me 2 things that i am sorried about and i hop ei can get some feedback from anyone.

1-i have twins , the doc said they measure 4 days apart, i donot know if that is normal or they should measure the same.

2- the doc said there is a cyst in one of the babies brain. i think the name is choroid plexus!!he said this should go away later. yet i read about it and the link with abnormality possibility....anyone can guide me with this !!appreciate your help

Free book from State farm ins

violet1amythest — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 16:32:33 GMT

Does anyone have the link to the free book from state farm ins? I tried to go back into the old messages but it won't let me in and I can't find it on their website. They used to have these great medical books for parents. I got 2 of them and gave 1 away as it was for pregnancy and the second one I got I love but a cousin of DH would like something like it as she just had a baby. Maybe they don't do it anymore.

Hellooooooooooo

Danicasmum — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 11:58:37 GMT

Come out, come out, wherever you are....

where the heck is everyone?

Could you vote for my son?

debbie99 — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 06:29:46 GMT

Hi all,

I was wondering if you could vote for my son Kaden in this baby contest. I thought I seen a thread here with someone requesting to do that. I can't find it anywhere.

http://photocontest.babystages.ca/en/vote/ballot.php?photo_id=135427

I would really appreciate if you could spare a minute. At least check out his picture. He is in his Tummy Tub! It's a wonderful thing!

Thanks,

Debbie and Kaden Bear

Any Gardeners out There?

MrsE — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 08:38:10 GMT

I love my garden! I admit that I'm just learning by experience, with the help of a few books I've picked up in Chapters. But we had quite the mild winter here in the GTA-so my periwinkle is still green and lush from last year!! My tulips are about 5 inches high. My hyacinth are in bloom-a pretty shade of pink.

I'm looking forward to expanding our front gardens this Spring (come May) We'll be adding a snowball bush for more privacy. And lots more perennials. Can anyone recommend some tall pink, white or purple perennials that I could plant? Thanks!

Hi I'm new!

zowie — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 12:39:57 GMT

Hi..I'm new to these boards and wanted to introduce myself.

I'm 29 years old, married and 35 weeks pregnant (our first child).

just wanted to say "hello"

zowie

Are used cribs safe?

icegirl — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 13:47:19 GMT

Hello, I was just curious how many ladies have bought used cribs and how you tell if they are safe or not? I had a woman at work offer me a crib and change table for $250.00 but when I heard of other cribs for sale at $70.00 I kind of wondered what to look for in a used crib?

Any input would help...as we aren't due for another 5.5mths.

THanks, Erika

Gifts for siblings

scrapingal — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:55:12 GMT

I am due with #3 in 6 weeks. I would like to get my two boys (7 and 5) a little something from the baby. They have waited so long for this to happen and were little troopers when we miscarried last year. Any good ideas out there!??! TIA!

HELP

momma12 — Wed, 16 May 2007 21:20:55 GMT

HELLO,IM NEW HERE AND HAVE A QUESTION:

I HAVE BEEN BREASTFEEDING SINCE THE BABY WAS BORN IN SEPT.I GOT MY PERIOD BACK IN JANUARY,IV HAD ONE EVERY MONTH SINCE THEN.I WAS SUPPOSE TO START 2 WEEKS AGO AND HAVENT.CAN YOUR PERIOD START BACK UP HAVE IT A FEW MONTHS AND THEN STOP AGAIN?OR SHOULD I JUST GO GET A TEST TO SEE IF I AM PREG.I DIDNT/DONT THINK I AM PARTLY CAUSE I NURSED MY LAST BABY FOR 14 MONTHS AND DIDNT GET PREGNANT,I STOPPED AND GOT PREGNANT WITHIN A MONTH.I DIDNT THINK I COULD GET PREGNANT WHILE NURSING(I KNOW SOME WOMEN CAN)I JUST NEED SOME ADVICE.

SO THE BOTTOM LINE IS CAN U GET YOUR PERIOD BACK THEN HAVE IT GO AGAIN WHILE BREASTFEEDING.OR IS MOST LIKELY IM PREGANANT(WHICH I REALLY WANT)

Anyone on Facebook?

cherylmomof2 — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:56:26 GMT

I was just wondering if anyone was on facebook.com

My name is Cheryl Bain if you want to add me onto your friends list.

Baby Gear

AprilMommy — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 12:42:37 GMT

Ladies, I'm due in just over a month and I still don't have a stroller or a car seat.

In terms of strollers I'm looking for something that can be used from birth (therefore should be fully reclining i guess), lightweight (under 16lbs), easy to maneuvre and sturdy (no squeaky wheels). I know the bugaboo frog stroller fits this description but I don't want to spend 730$ on it!!

What brand would you recommend? What are you using? How happy are you with what you have?

In terms of car seats, did you get both the infant car seat and then the convertible one? Once again, what brands would you recommend- here i'm esepcially concerned about comfort level and safety of course.

Thanks to anyone who can help me out

A bit off topic.....

HotMami — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 01:27:59 GMT

My husband and i are moving to Ontario (not sure where but wanting a town close to toronto) from calgary. Neither of us is from Calgary i am from Vancouver (have been in Calgary for 6 years) and he is From South America. He has live in Torono before. He liked Ontario but not Toronto. Calgary is sooooo expensive its rediculus! We both have good job opportunies in Ontario but have been told by some people its good adn cheaper and by others its not. Just wondering if anyone from the area can tell em what its like? Thank yoU!

HELP...I have a major dilemma.

cherylmomof2 — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 11:10:54 GMT

I have the opportunity to work from home, legitimely (?sp). The hours are 5pm to 12am monday to friday, and on saturday 11am - 5pm.

My dilemma is, those hours I would be working are the only hours that my husband isn't at work, or sleeping. I would probably be bringing home around $700 a month. We don't need the money, but we have wants just like everyone else. Right now we're making ends meet. Do I give up valuable time with my husband and kids in the evenings and on Saturday?

I'm in tears trying to figure out what to do, my hubby said its up to me but he looks disappointed. He really wants a 4 wheeler.

What would you do???