ParentTalk Forums / ParentTalk / Family, Marriage & Sex

Blended family spending the holidays together...

hbg — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:08:55 GMT

Are you a blended family that thinks more about a hefty holiday price tag than new family traditions? Then we want to help!

We are a popular TV Series looking for a blended family for our annual Holiday special.

What you’ll get:
*One-on-one coaching & money saving holiday tips from one of Canada’s top financial journalists
*a generous financial incentive

Who We're Looking For:
We are looking for a blended family who live in the Greater Toronto Area.

Candidates must be outgoing and willing to be open with money matters and
stress.

How to Apply:
Please email story and photo to info@rtrmedia.com

Do your teens think that money grows on trees?

hbg — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:08:08 GMT

Does money burn a hole in your teen’s jean pockets?

If you are feeling financially overwhelmed and your teens are a big strain on your budget then we want to help!

We are a popular TV Series looking for a chance to teach your teens a thing or two about budgets, finances and responsibility.

What you’ll get:
*one-on-one coaching for you and your family from one of Canada’s top financial journalists
*a generous financial incentive

Who We're Looking For:
We are looking for families with teens living in the Greater Toronto Area

Candidates must be outgoing and willing to be open with money matters and
stress.

How to Apply:
Please email story and photo to info@rtrmedia

Have sex every night to conceive quicker?

meemee — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:18:47 GMT

Hi there.

I'm Mimi and new to this board. We are hoping to become pregnant in the next year and I've heard conflicting advice: should we be having sex every night or every second night in order to improve our chances?

Thank you for the advice!

Mimi

Separate Bedrooms

unsure — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:56:10 GMT

Hi. So, my husband snores like crazy. He is REALLY bad and I can't stand the sound. We go to bed together (and yes, have sex) and then fall asleep. Or, I should say, HE falls asleep and I lay there listening to the snoring. So, I get up and change rooms. I get a much better sleep.

Personally, I think this is a fine situation, but friends seem to think that it will lead to a bad marriage. We have only been married for just over a year. I think it is better that I get a good night's sleep so I am not cranky.

Thoughts??

Ottawa ON planning to get pregnant

reneleiva — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 22:08:18 GMT

Have you had a previous successful pregnancy?

Planning to get pregnant again soon?

Interested in learning about your fertility?

Do you live in the Ottawa region?

‘Achieving Pregnancy Naturally’ Project

Are YOU Interested ?

There are different ways couples can use to help plan when they will become pregnant. Some methods are more expensive because the couple has to buy a fertility monitor. Natural methods such as checking cervical mucus might work just as well and would be free. Researchers have not directly compared how well each of these methods works. The purpose of this project is to see if couples become pregnant as easily using the Billings Ovulation (cervical mucous) method compared to using a fertility monitor (ClearPlan©).

This is your chance to help medical science and other couples to find out the answer!

If you think you would be interested in taking part in this project, please call us at 613-562-4262 ext. 1398. If you are eligible for the study, we will arrange for you to meet with one of our researchers to discuss all the details of the project. Please note that you cannot have used any of the above methods already.

All conversations will be kept anonymous and confidential

Thank you for you help !!

Dr Rene Leiva

Study funded by the Department of Family Medicine

University of Ottawa

Sleep or Sex

violet1amythest — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:10:48 GMT

I recently found myself in this very situation and thought it would be nice to know what others do.

We took my mom to the airport to go home from her vacation with us and took the kids to a friends house for the night as we live 3 hrs away from the airport and wouldn't be home till late. Before we left the city it was said by me that I'd like to have a little fun when we got home. Of course DH is happy to hear this and we carry on our way home. We didn't get home until 10 and by the time we had everything put away and ready for the next day it was after 10:30 when we finally went to bed. I was very tired from the long day and lack of sleep the night before and so was DH. We decided it would be better to get a good rest as neither of us were overly energetic and were asleep right away.

no longer an "oh No" worry

jennitheunissen — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 13:00:11 GMT

After I had posted that I was worried I was pregnant again, we got to talking and hey maybe that's not sooo bad, so we're going to try again. BUT does anyone have any helpful tips to keep your weight while pregnant from sky rocketing!!!! I gained 45 pounds and still haven't lost all of it from my first pregnancy, I was still really active and I'm a really small person, but I don't know how to keep the weight from packing on. I know it sounds pretty shallow but it's hard to feel like your living in somone elses body.

If anyone knows anything helpful that would be awesome!!!

thanks again

adultry

singlejourney — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:32:30 GMT

I have been married to the same man for 18 years. He is now 48 and I found out he has been cheating on me. He says our goals are different and that he now wants his freedom to take chances in life, have adventures and lust other women. The woman in question is 37 and single. I am 54.

This was a complete shock to me. He works in Mexico and we live in Canada. Up until he came home and I found the gmail he claimed to love me and we were going ahead as a team. He now says he has changed and wants to go on a different highway alone, leaving me and our son age 15 behind. He says that his son has to face adversity in his life and has no regrets for what he has chosen to do.

THis may be male middle age but why do some men choose the power of younger conquests over their families when you believed that you had it all as a couple?

I struggle with this a belong to a group for support. It was just such a shock. If there are any Dad's out there that can help me with knowledge or insight please let me know what is going on here?

going to seperate

grayson — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 19:00:49 GMT

my husband works out west. we have 3 children.he left to work out there 4 yrs ago. makes empty promises to move back home. has tried 3 times already but the money is not good enough here in NB as it is in AB. so i have been a single parent and he has been a paycheque. i feel i need to be happy, have a partner, feel wanted as a woman. i love him but unfortunately i have fallen out of love. he is a good man and father when he is home. i don't know what to do. how to seperate. how to be independant(have relied on his income i have given up my career to be a stay at home mom) i want to to to school. how do i get funding? what steps should i take . i'm scared to go it alone(even though i have been actually doing this for 4yrs). HELP advice please

5 months pregnant and going through an unwanted separation

newmomtobeagain — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:17:23 GMT

Im new here and thought I would share my story and maybe get some advice.

Ok....my husband and I have been together 2 years. 6 months ago we got married. 4 months ago we bought a house, actually he bought the house with money he got from a settlement. 2 weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. At first I was extremely excited and happy about the thought of being a mom again (I already have a 6 year old). Unfortunately my husband was not that excited about it and not supportive what so ever. We have always had a rocky relationship, both verbal and physical abuse on both our behalf. I stopped hitting him and intiating physical fights about 8 months ago because this was not something I wanted to raise my child around and I knew things were one day gonna end up really bad. My husband on the other hand has continued to hit me, pull my hair, spit on me, bite me, etc. I have tried getting help for us, but it seems the only time he wants to get help is when its really bad, rather than getting help before to prevent it from getting that bad. Last week he was arrested but let go into his moms care with conditions not to come near our house or contact me. The thing is I dont want this for us. I want us to be able to work things out, I want him to get help for his anger. When I married him I thought I would be with him forever. I thought that was what marriage was suppose to be. I just dont know what to do anymore, the stress of all this is taking a toll on me. I dont want to raise our child on my own but on the other hand I dont want to raise children in a home like this. Another thing....last month we took 5 days apart from each other, during that time he told me he had paid a woman for sexual pleasures. At first I was hysterical, I thought how could you do this to someone your suppose to love and whos carrying your child. But I chose to forgive him and move on. But of course I told him this would take some time for me to get over. Everyone just keeps telling me to leave. I feel like Ive failed in my marriage. I dont know if I should keep trying to work on things or just leave and move on with my life. I dont know how hes feeling right now. I know his mom is telling him to leave me, we never got along to begin with. And if he does go through with a divorce Im scared of whats gonna happen to me and my children. And where we will live. Any advice anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Sex with my wife

retro — Tue, 22 May 2007 17:06:50 GMT

I'm interested in trying new sex activities with my wife. She's open to new things and we have a strong relationship. However...I'm not sure how open she'll be to experimentation - any suggestions on how I approach this?

thanks!

Relationship issues

ls426829 — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 22:21:26 GMT

I have a question for you. Well maybe not as much of a question as a vent. My wife and I recently got married after being together for four years and living together for three. She recently has become fond of going out to the bar with her friends every weekend or every chance she gets. She never did this before now. I trust her and everything but I just don’t like the feeling that she is in some bar whenever she has the opportunity. I am a full time student who works weekends (she works full time and has weekends free). We both moved away from home together for school three years ago. We haven’t really met anyone else around here, as I guess we are not social people. However, I work weekends in our hometown. That is where she always wants to go out. And as a result of me working I can never go along with her. I think that the situation would be different if she wanted to do things with her friends besides go out to the bar, but that is all that she seems to do. She never wants to drink alcohol around me, but she always wants to when around her friends. I guess I should have seen this coming when she left me to socialize by myself at our wedding when she went to her friends’ table to play drinking games (the only people who didn’t have to pay for their alcohol at our wedding! Even the wedding party bought their own alcohol even though we told them they didn’t have to). Oh I almost forgot that since we have been married she has

1. advertised our car for sale on craigslist (just to get an idea of what we might get),

2. applied for a mortgage for a house just to see what she could get (even though I told her that I am not interested in buying a house),

3. attempted to solicit strangers as workout partners through craigslist

4. tried to get complete strangers to invite her to their bachelorette party via a wedding talkboard (because she apparently did not get a bachelorette party. Which she kind of did, and also she convinced me to have her come along on my “bachelor party” which consisted of having a bbq at a lake and one friend going out to the bar with me).

5. Ooops did I forget to mention that she has done all of that behind my back.

So now for the question: do you think it is appropriate for one member of the couple to be going to a bar on a regular basis? Am I over reacting? I try to be understanding and let her do whatever she wants but is this going too far or am I just over reacting? Probably over reacting but this little vent does make me feel better. Thanks for listening.

Balancing: Marriage & Family

Moderator — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 14:20:08 GMT

Check out our interview with Sonia Rodriguez and Kurt Browning where they discuss the balancing act with family, careers and adult time!

Click here to check it out: http://www.parentscanada.com/balancing/articles.aspx?listingid=119

Oh NO!!!

jennitheunissen — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 18:31:49 GMT

I was just wondering if anyone knew whether or not you can get pregnant again right away.

My baby is two months old now and me and my husband were caught up in the moment and didn't use any protection. Stupid I know but can I really get pregnant already?

I'm pretty fertile, it only took the first month I was off birth control to get pregnant the first time.

Is it possible?

Jenni

seperation/divorce

geminimama — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 23:54:08 GMT

I'm the mother of a four year old daughter and I'm pregnant. I just recently separated from my husband of four years. The seperation was mutual, we were both miserable. We tried councelling a few times, it helped for awhile, but didn't work out. It's only been a week, but I'm certain it's over. I'm in shock right now and my future and my children's future is uncertain. I have never lived independently from my family or my husband and I'm doubting if I can do it alone. What I'm wondering is how do I cope and get through this period of grief and loss? and How do you single parent's out there do it?

Doubting Mama

Would you stay for the sake of your child?

janette0601 — Sat, 20 May 2006 16:22:12 GMT

Hello moms,

I have a sensitive question...would you guys stay in marriage even if you don't have feelings with your DH anymore for the sake of your child? For some reason I don't have feelings w/ DH anymore...I don't know if this is just hormones or what? Sometimes I couldn't stand him and he drives me crazy! I feel so frustrated. We have a daughter, she's almost 2 (in july). I keep saying that I would leave him and he would say...go just leave our daughter, but we all know that it was just a joke. That's my fear too, what if he'll take my daughter? I want my daughter to be w/ me. DH is fine man, but sometimes...urghh!!! I've been telling him things since day one, but it wasn't registering in his brain..like put your stuff away after using it...etc..

I have asked this to my mom and she said that I should love him for the sake of ou daughter. I told her that I don't love him anymore. We hardly make love anymore. I didn't want him touching me or anything. What should I do? Should I stay b/c of our daughter. Any advise or suggestions are welcome.

Confused

Honeymoon Gift Bear Trail Resort

berryqueen — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 16:19:58 GMT

Has anyone been here? Was it worth it? Do you have to pay extra for food?

Ouch!!!

jennitheunissen — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 18:45:09 GMT

Okay I'm just wondering if anyone else has had the same problem as me.

Very early on into my pregnancy I found that besides having to pee all the time (even during sex) that each time we tried it was more painful than the next. And I did want to have sex so that wasn't the problem.

Well my son is just over two months and each time we have tried to have sex it still feels the same and the pain is awful. I had a c-section so I know delivery is not a contributing factor.

Any help would be great,

Thanks

Jenni

Relationship stress!!

icegirl — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 11:15:23 GMT

Hello Ladies! I know this isn't something many people like to talk about but I need to write just to share. Lately DH and I have been having relationship stress due to his short temper and lack of understanding. I am 20 weeks along with our first child and we were both so excited at first! It seems now if I am having somekind of pregnancy pain....in my back, sore muscles or indigestion, he comes up with something wrong with him instead of listening to me. We were getting ready for a wedding yesterday and he began to get upset with the time we had left ourselves to prepare. He began blaming me for running late and when he needed my help I did not want to be in the same room while he was yelling! He has been trying a new medication to calm him down and the doctor said this may take 2-3 weeks to notice a change. Anyhow, on our way to the wedding I felt pressure and pain in my abdomen....we pulled the car over so I could stretch and the pain subsided. I'm worried the stress of our relationship will take a toll on our unborn baby? Does anyone know or have heard of effects of stress on pregnancy?

Any advice is appreciated....I have been coping but worried how my DH will cope once the baby is here....Thanks in advance!

Icegirl - Due Feb.3/07

Sorry, I also posted this in "All about Mom" before I realized this is the more appropriate section!

SAHM

Jen2431 — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 19:31:28 GMT

Hello to all,

I am fairly new to this site, however I wanted to ask for some advice..... I have a 7 month old and I have to go back to work Jan 2, 2006 and I DON NOT WANT TO but my husband is VERY admin to send me back to work, does anyone have any advice for me to continue to be a stay at home mother....

PLEASE HELP!!!!!

If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to email me at jend2820@hotmail.com

Thank you for all the help!

How to get in the Mood

tiddbit — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 17:53:21 GMT

Hey I have a one year old at home.Just starting going back to work. And hubby acts like we did before we got pregnant. and Frankly I am just not in the mood for sex. I mean once we get into it it's great. But it's before that I have no want or need to . Any suggestions to get out of this rutt.

After baby sex

richardson3 — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 13:58:12 GMT

I have a three month old son Jacob. It seems that everytime my husband and I try to have sex (only while he is sleeping) he wakes up or I'm too busy worring that we will wake him up. Now don't get me wrong, we're not loud. Anyone else had this problem?

Being a mommy and a wife

rdtm — Sun, 28 May 2006 15:03:49 GMT

Well Kalli is now almost 4 months old. I am having some issues about being a mom vs being a wife. I spend all day and evening caring for Kalli and when she goes to bed is the only time I get to be my husbands wife again. I am struggling with how to switch off Mommy mode so I can enjoy my husband romantically. I am not tired at night so I have no reason not to have romantic feelings however I can't seem to do the switch. Its wierd because I think my husband is absolutely gorgeous and I love him to death and I even dream at night about having "relations" with him, but why can't I feel like this when I lay in bed beside him at night?

How do you ladies turn off Mommy mode?

I would love to hear any suggestions!

Sex after baby

dramoutar — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:25:45 GMT

I'm wondering if I'm the only out there with this problem. My son is 9 months now and my husband and I have not resumed sexual relations to his desire. Most of the time I'm so tired and when we do have time I don't really want to. I'm even turned off when my husband kisses me. I'm not sure if it's the whole having the 'baby thing' and hormones, etc. or if it's the problems we've been having. He's up and left my son and I three times now and says he won't do it again, so perhaps the trust, etc. needs to be built back first before I can be intimate with him again like we used to. Can anyone help me?

How many?

mrshippo — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 09:35:50 GMT

Lately I have been getting questions from strangers, co-workers, etc about when I am planning on having a child or how many I have already. Maybe I have finally crossed that line where I look like an adult - who knows? - but I am getting a bit fed up with the responses.

Yesterday a co-worker asked me "are you guys going to start having kids soon?" And I said (politely) "no, probably not anytime soon. We have a five year old... and she keeps us busy right now"... To which my co-worker replied "yeah, but she's not YOURS, she's HIS. Wouldn't you rather have your own?"

I was a bit shocked. No, she may not be mine biologically, but she is OURS. And if I did have my "own" - they wouldn't replace my sd! Geesh - that is the third time in as many weeks I have gotten a comment like that. I didn't really know what to say.

Those of you who have stepkids - when someone asks you how many kids you have - what do you say? Do you say "none of my own, but -- stepkids" or do you say "none" or do you just say how many without elaborating? I was just wondering.

Secret thoughts

violet1amythest — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 13:37:03 GMT

I find myself calling my husband not very nice names in my head when he does some things. I don't really know why. I do love him very much and we get along great and rarely fight or have serious disagreements.

What happens is that he will do something like drop a dish into the dishwasher by accident and my first thought is moron. Or if he's outside and is getting frustrated doing something I think freakin idiot.

I've never verbalized these but the thoughts are enough to worry me. I don't want these thoughts to become a daily description of my husband. He really is a good man to have. He treats me and the kids great and works around the house like I do.

Have any of you experienced this before? We've only been married for 3 yrs and I don't want things to start going bad for us. Last year we joined a couples group and it helped us to find ways of communicating and what was important to each other. But I"m finding more in the last 6 months my mind is becomming more negative towards him.