 Posted 5/25/2007 5:41:08 PM
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| Its not what I would have planned but I find myself, but I am 7 months pregnant and the father has shown no interest in being involved. I think if left to my own, I would'nt feel so bad about it, but with EVERYONE constantly asking me about the father and making assumptions about how happy he must be, its very depressing sometimes. Everything is geared towards happy couples having babies together. I just want everyone to know I'm a happy (all beit very tired and sick) single mother having another baby and I can't wait to meet my new bundle of joy!
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Posted 5/31/2007 11:44:52 PM
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| I totally know how you feel I may not be single but I am sure on my way there.. the father of my baby hasnt really been in the picture sure we will together but we are always fighting.. main reason is his *** mom sorry I am not impressed with her at all
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Posted 8/21/2007 5:21:20 PM
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| Well, I am now single too and didn't see it coming. I am 17 weeks along at this point, and was previously in an amazing relationship! Or at least that is what I thought...guess I was wrong! The dad was a great guy until he tried to pressure me into terminating! I am not in agreement with that at all! I have a daughter that will turn 14 3 weeks before the new baby is due! Can you imagine?? Mums taxi, bank machine, fashion and hair consultant all while on diaper duty...LOL!! Life sure has a way of throwing you curve balls, doesn't it? I am not too concernend though, as I pretty much raised my daughter on my own too from the age of 17, I just hoped that this time would be different. Kinda leaves me wondering though...
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Posted 9/8/2007 1:19:44 PM
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| My birth great-gramdmother, grandmother and mother were all single mothers and they managed, so it really didn't occur to me how certain people would react. It was a one-night-stand that could have developed into more. I never planned on getting married but always wanted children and to be a young mom(I'm 21) The father also said, I could come to him with anything and he'd always be there, as a friend, which I liked. I never did have his phone number, though, just his E-mail address. And, ever since we had sex and I told him I'd rather not make a repeat performance out of it(since I didn't want him to find out I was pregnant, because I don't really want my kid being shuttled between parents), he's almost stopped keeping in touch altogether... I don't really care, but it's sure opened my eyes to how judgemental my adoptive mother and grandmother can be! All they think about is money, money, money... "You should let him know, so he can help you pay for this child, since you're not working", or I'll accuse my adoptive grandmother of behaving in the exact manner I have and she'll retaliate with, "Yeah, I didn't work, quit school and got pregnant at twenty, but I was married"  I'm still sticking to my plans, though, because I believe it takes more love than money to raise a child, and one parent can show just as much(if not more) as two.
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Posted 3/6/2008 8:19:16 PM
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[quote]chocolateicingcg (9/8/2007)
I never did have his phone number, though, just his E-mail address. And, ever since we had sex and I told him I'd rather not make a repeat performance out of it(since I didn't want him to find out I was pregnant, because I don't really want my kid being shuttled between parents), he's almost stopped keeping in touch altogether... I don't really care, but it's sure opened my eyes to how judgemental my adoptive mother and grandmother can be! quote] I am not passing judgement on you or want to tell you how to live your life but I would like to give you a view from a girl that grew up not knowing who her dad was/is .....I always felt like a part of me was missing, that there was something about me that did not fit into the picture. It killed me to not know who my father was/is - and at 33 I still don't. I am about to have a baby and that makes it hurt even more. Just something to keep in mind..... If you do decide to not tell the guy or your child...please do not ever bad mouth the man that is your child's father. My mother never hestitated to tell me that my father is not in my life because he is an a$$hole. The older I get, the more I realize she just didn't want him in it but would rather have something to "hold" over him. (whole other topic and issue) That just makes me want to meet him more and prove to her that she is a liar and did it out of selfish reasons, never thinking of me (which really is true and I hope is not true in your case) I am not saying that this is the same as your situation.....but please keep in mind your child's feelings and their curiousity when they get older will come out. But again the choice is yours...just wanted to share a different point of view. I give you all credit, raising a child isn't easy......let alone doing it alone. I give you all a gold star, you all deserve it. And you all sound like you will be great moms. Best of luck to you.
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Posted 5/5/2008 11:30:15 AM
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| Wow, guys. You are brave and determined women! How are you getting along now? Have any of you had your babies yet? Take good care, Lisa
Lisa Tabachnick Hotta
Online Editor
lisah@parentscanada.com
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Posted 6/14/2008 8:12:29 PM
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| no, no - you are not alone on this one. I too am single and pregnant (3 months) and get the same thing all the time; "so you're with the father?" or "you must be so happy". I completely agree with you that it is kinda depressing how couple orientated things are. My situation is a bit different; I was seeing someone new but had a relapse with my ex and now paternity is up in the air. Either way, I hate being in limbo like this and find myself torn about how to feel about this pregnancy in general. My family is excited and sometimes I feel really quilty for not being happy about this in the slightest. I wish the circumstances were different so the pressure wasn't all on me and every time I have to smile through the 'father' comments/questions are only reminders of the 'couple' stigma. I am not complaining as I obviously chose to go through with this pregnancy, but that doesn't mean the loneliness goes away with a fetus on board - it only seems to add stress about the whole thing.
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